A Secret Not To Be Told
by Luminaglow
Summary: I'm Sorry! The rating is too high!!!!!! Its like pg but i don't want to be suspened for nothing~!! Anyways You never knew the entire story of Sesshoumaru when he was a kid or his mother. How was it like for him? How did he meet his father?
1. Default Chapter

*A Secret Not To Be Heard*  
  
Hello! ^^ This is my first Inuyasha fic (claps) I'm so happy I had this sitting in my file for quite some time! I really hope you like it! I need at least like 3-5 reviews to continue the story, it would totally make me feel better, it's just about like how Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru grow up as kids I think it could be dark I'm not exactly sure..ENJOY! Plz no flames only constructive criticism!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and all of the characters it holds.I don't even own myself since a bad mishap (sold herself for car horn) BEEP BEEP it was a nice car horn too.  
  
Also one more thing ::.::=actions of something /.../=thoughts "."=talking _=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=  
  
"I will love you always and forever, you know that? Terribly terribly much"  
  
"Mother.." the youkai whispered under his breath of his unconsciousness. He cringed as the wind touched his pale white skin and danced with his white mane. His bangs started to irritate him also, he shut his eyes harder so that he can remain asleep. The wind became more rougher for him to sleep so he gave up. He slit his eyes slowly into the dark twilight. Whole body seemed stiff and numb, it was almost unbearable. The youkai couldn't do nothing but..sit..ha that is a laugh. Him, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, numb? With what he supposed? Fear? Anger? Jealousy? Ahh yes, something a mere normal human could feel. But he can felt much more then that, he surpasses all that is emotion to him. He is no mere human. He is..demon.  
  
"Rrrmmf" Rin struggled to warm up against the cold, hard ground. Her cheek blushed with bright red and whisk shivers can be heard. Sesshoumaru noticed. He did nothing, but stare. Yes, all he did was that. Rin was a very important role in his life. He hadn't noticed till now. She was just a mere human child. It frustrates him how he can't answer on why he saved her. Was it pity? It couldn't, he was too proud to pity anyone. Maybe love or guilt. It was neither of these, especially love. He needs no companion for himself. He learned the hard way how that is. So in other words, Rin.is just Rin. A little girl following him, a little sister.  
  
The wind shifted it's coarse and move a different direction. Dead silence came over the night. Rin stopped struggling and continued to sleep. Sesshoumaru couldn't stop the numbness of his past. He remembered a faint memories of him as a kid. Heh, wasn't those wonderful memories. He smirked as he remembered one. What happened? Ah yes, it was then when father appeared first time and took him from the one he held dear at the time. It wasn't a blur, nor was it anything remembered as yesterday..it was just a mere memory. He closed his eyes and faint images came across his mind.  
  
"I will love you always and forever , you know that? Terribly terribly much."  
  
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The town was dry that day, it was the middle of summer and a drought has brought it presences for almost a month. Temperatures were high that month, as it was declared a heat wave. The streets were bare of activity, yet only workers for the crops had seemed to try to keep the least of the supply up till at least rain comes. Children had stayed in their houses long enough and suffered under the hot suns. It was miserable. Day after day rain will soon appear. The humidity was so bad, your lucky that you don't suffocate under the sun. It was tough for the people at the field. Collecting as much as they can. It was around noon time and the glare of the sun flashed near their eyes. "Arg, man it's awful today" one of the workers snarled. "Well, it could've been worse. What time is it?" he yelled to one of the others "I say around noon, I guess"  
  
He young man nodded "Great, let's take a break, we're nowhere near close to done." He pulled out a cloth and wiped his face. It felt so good after a hard time of work. "Ya comin' Tetsu?" the other man smirked as he dropped his tools "Hell yeah Houjin!" The rest decided they deserved themselves a quick time too. The two guys smiled and practically dragged themselves to the Kairu Restaurant.  
  
The Kairu Restaurant was crowded after the announced break. One of the ladies came up just in time "Hel-oh it's you Houjin and Tetsu. You need no greetings." The lady's face turned serious and almost to the state of anger. " Come this way." The two men ignored the response and were seated at their table. Houjin smirked at the waitress " Service will be here shortly." Houjin nodded "Yeah, how about you stay here for a while, we'll bring company" He smirked, the waitress sees nothing funny "I'll bring water" she walked off with an emotionless face and left.  
  
Tetsu had a heartily laugh "Houjin you fool! Is that the only "good" line you thought of? That's hilarious!" Houjin smirked and bared a hearty smile. His eyes were full of mischief and happiness in his hazel eyes. " Well, I don't see who's talking, I'm surprised that you still know how it feels to be free!" Tetsu smiled ,it's true. He was married. During that exciting ride of freedom and carefree days, his ride stopped. He doesn't care though, he has a lovely wife and a wonderful newborn baby daughter. Nothing could be more better then that "Well I'm surprise you know everything there is to know about marriage huh Mr. Freedom?"  
  
Houjin grinned at his friend how a long way he been with him. It seemed like he was his other half. They've been through together at almost anything. He nodded at his confidant. "Yeah, yeah so maybe your right? But still, doesn't look hard does it?" Tetsu busted out another hearted laugh. It was very ironic that his friend Houjin always thinks he know everything about marriage. He not even married yet too. But it was very odd on how you think that he'd be the FIRST person to get married, sure he was kick backed and is free like a wild horse. Still after you really met him, you just can't get enough..sorta that is.  
  
Another waitress came in with a kind and amicable smile. "Hello! Here is your water. Anything you want to eat?" Tetsu started knowing exactly what he usually gets "I would like a beef pot" Houjin nodded "Likewise" The waitress bowed and walked out "Well she looks suitable huh Houjin?" Houjin took a huge gulp of his water, a hot days work parched his mouth "Huh? Oh the waitress that just served us? Well, she doesn't look like my type of woman" Tetsu raised his eyebrow confused on his "types" of woman "What do you mean by types?" Tetsu to a gulp as well into his cold water. "Well...it's hard to explain. You'll see." Tetsu brushed off the subject and changed to another one "Well anyways, have you heard about that there was a house far off here?"  
  
Houjin squinted his eyebrows thinking really hard on who Tetsu was talking about. "Oh! You mean that little house? I heard the other day from the workers that a woman and a little child lives there" The waitress came this two beef pots for them " Here I hope you enjoy!" She bowed as the two men nodded their heads "Yeah, the other day my wife and I were talking about it. She said that there WAS a woman and child there. She saw two figures while she was visiting the well for a pale for water" Houjin's face turned serious "Hmm, did your wife seen what they looked liked?" Tetsu took a bite out of the Beef pot and thought for a little while "Hmmm, she didn't really see, but she said she could've sworn that the little kid had a tail and could been a youkai. Houjin blinked as if Tetsu's wife was hallucinating from the heat " Youkai?? Wow, has the heat went to everyone's head?" Tetsu shrugged his shoulders and continued eating "I don't know, but still something suspicious about that family. Houjin nodded in agreement as he also joined in eating his lunch.  
  
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"Mmmmmm, what a hot day." a middle aged woman fanned herself near the restaurant as she talked to her friend "Don't you think so?" The other woman quite stout from the other nodded "Why yes. It's been happening all month now and more" She fanned herself with her hand as she sweated "Well we better get back to our homes, I don't think the restaurant will needs us anyways" The thinner woman nodded in response and began to leave, but a suspicious person came in their path. "Excuse me?" The stouter woman raised an eyebrow, she had never met this woman. She studied this mysterious person, her face and head was covered in a cloak and she body also. So really you couldn't tell who it was. "Well, what is it?" The suspicious nodded "Do you know where the well is?"  
  
The stout woman looked at her for a while then noticed that she was getting impatient. "There's two wells around here. The one close to here, that one I recommend it's cleaner and better to drink at. But the other one is in the outer limits of town and it's not as clean but very cold" The mysterious woman nodded "Thank you very much" She went out of the way of the two ladies and disappeared in the crowd. "What an odd person, I wonder who that was?"  
  
*~~*~*~*~***~**~**~***~***~***~**~**~*~**~**~**~**  
  
"Where is that blasted well?" The woman raced around the trail finding anything remotely a well. Her patience was again wearing off then out of no where she found it in the end of the trail. She smiled as she raced to it and placed her pale in the cool, soothing water. She grinned as she got enough "Don't worry honey. Mommy going to come home soon" She picked up her slightly heavy pail with a visible smile as she raced to her little house.  
  
"::Cough, Cough:: mmmm. Mother.where are you?" he closed his eyes resting his feverish head on his futon. His vision was blurry and he couldn't think straight, all he can think about were the faces of people. Not as in images of their face, but their true personality. A mask that cannot be seen, but can be made. The white haired youkai turned his head from the ceiling. Excruciated from pain, he tried all his might to sleep, trying to destract himself from his aching body. All his senses were blocked from all the emotions and pain he feels. No one would understand him except for..  
  
Panting and wheezing the woman ran as fast as she could into the house. She was in a nick of time. She rushed through the halls and in the doors into her son's room. The woman frowned as she saw her son was in pain, quickly she grabbed a cloth and soaked it in the water and rinsed it. "Why us..why?" She laid the cool cloth on the young youkai's head. He smiled as his head felt very good. The woman still panting smiled as she found that her son will be ok. She glance at his features to see if anything was wrong.  
  
She glanced at his face and he looked rather paler then usual. Then again he IS sick, being bite by a poisonous monster and all. His eyes were darkened by lack of rest and and was sweating from his forehead. His nose is red from the congestion and wheezes through his mouth. Certainly this is an awful thing to see you child in this condition. She then looked at his near shut eyes and saw he was sad and worried. No wonder the child thought that she looked so depressed. She tried to cover if up with a warm smile and that help a little. The mother grabbed the rag as she rinsed it out to lay apoun his head again. She felt his head and the fever was declining. Her smile became wider as she knew her son would be ok.  
  
"Mother?" The young Youkai asked,opening his eyes wider to see the sight of her mother. The mother accosted closer to her son with curiosty to his question. "Yes dear, what may it be?" The boy's smile appered on his face hoping everything will be ok. "Am I going to die?" Her eyes shot out hear that question. Yes there was a chance for him to die, but very rare. Should she tell him that. She looked at him, seeing his childish eyes full of worry. No child should have that especially a child. They're suppose to be happy and cheerful forever. Unfortunatly, this isn't the case. Not wanting her son to be worried she stroked his hair and smile. "Of course not. In a week or so you'll be just fine."  
  
Her endearing smile made him believe her and he smile back. His mother approach closer and put his head on her lap. His white hair flowed ontop of her lap and simmered in the sunlight. It was still the afternoon. She closed her eyes as she stoked her son's hair,humming along. Everything was so calm and ok during that time. Things have been hard,for both of them. For one thing, the two were both full demons.  
  
Society doesn't take the same level of respect like other when it comes to them. The mother knew, she was smart that she'd probably be hunted down in her sleep if she revealed herself in the village. Instead, she went to the farest house away from the village and that's where they live. It looked very deserted and the house wasn't at all the best house you could find. But it had a roof over its head and that's decent enough. Now and then she goes to the village,just to walk around or find some food and other essentials of living. But that's pretty much it. As for her son... Since he's full youkai. It's hard for him to have friends. The mother wouldn't let her play with the demons either. Afraid he'll be eaten or worse. He never goes to the village EVER...except .  
  
"::Cough Cough:: Owww" The mother snapped from her train of thoughts and looked at her son "What's wrong Sesshoumaru? Are you in pain?" She look in his eyes and saw it was true. He squinted now and then from the shard pains where the poison was struck. Even when the poison is out and the pain will go off on it's own. It's still awful to see someone like that. "Make it go away mother. Please.." She frowned as she knew that if she could then that would've been the first thing she would've done. "Please forgive me. But I have nothing else to help you with Sesshoumaru. I can only comfort." Tears weilded up in her eyes, she can't believe she had to say that. It struck her in the heart. One tiny tear drop rolled on her cheek, but it stopped before it reached to her chin.  
  
Sesshoumaru caught the tear on his finger and licked it. "Mother, you told me never to cry. So now..I'm going to tell you not to cry. Because at first...I didn't know why you said that and got made every time I did,but now I do. It's because you love me and don't want me hurt. So please don't cry" His Mom was so shocked and speechless. It made her so happy that her son ever said that. She was so overwhelmed that she didn't caught herself crying again. "Mother..please stop I can't stand you being sad" She looked down at her son leaned closer for a hug "Dear.these aren't tears of sadness. They're tears of happiness and proud to ever have you in my life" Sesshoumaru was very confused and didn't understand. It sounded kinda dumb. Not to cry but to cry.. That's what it sounds like. He'll never cry.never. _=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=  
  
YAY FIRST CHAPPY DONE!!!! OHOHOHOH ONE MORE THING!!!! Plz tell me if I should make this a plain-out fluffy story and his childhood or make it a Fluffy and Inuyasha childhood story too! ^^ that would make me sooooooooooooooooo happy! But this is my first Inuyasha chappy so only constructive critisism ok?...ok ^^ plz enjoy it and give me review. ..this lil girl needs help.will you help her? 


	2. Chapter Two

*A Secret Not To Be Heard*  
  
(glimmering eyes) Oh thank you for the reviews even when I haven't been updated in a WHILE. Darn you school! (shakes fist) Now that it's almost done (Yay!) I can concentrate more to what you need ^^. Thank you for telling me, but everyone (except for 1) wanted a Sesshoumaru story, but now that I think of it I want and Inuyasha story too! So this is going to be a Sesshoumaru story all by itself while after completing this one or when school is out which will give me more time I'll make an Inuyasha childhood story HAHAHA! I'm so smart I give the needs to all my fans ^^.  
  
I should also tell you that I usually update around once a week (3 if I'm in a REAL GOOD MOOD! Like for instance, New Manga and DVDs ^^) This doesn't count though since I was way busy then I used to be. It's like I have my own life! 0_0 ok enough jibber jabber! On with the story! (sorry!! To many announcements, but please I'm going to make this chapter a first person pov ^_^)  
  
Disclaimer: I, Lumina Glow, Here by clearly state that I do not own Inuyasha, or any anime such. Thank You (bows) ::.::=actions of something /.../=thoughts "."=talking  
  
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Sesshoumaru Point of View~  
  
The next couple of days got better for me, I could actually move my arms and legs (a very hard task I may say) and I had less attacks of pains and fevers. One thing I have noticed was my mother has been leaving the house more then usual, I would try to bring up the subject, but she seemed uncomfortable and always changed the subject. It actually brought her to the point of crying which I didn't understand. It actually happened yesterday though. My mother came home after going somewhere and she made dinner. She came to my room and ate with me and I asked why she always left at this time since I would get bored and lonely. She said she had business to attend to and I ask if father could come home when I'm alone.  
  
That really made her angry and she yelled something like I do not need a father when she's the only one that cares for me and she ran crying while knocking over her soup. I had a cloth and tried to clean the whole mess, but my body was so weak, I fell unconscious. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw that the flood was cleaned and figured that mother had came in. I felt a different sharp pain in my heart and it would not go away for a while. So I thought it was because I made my mother upset. From that day forward I have never mention her leavings and father ever again.  
  
Today, was really boring so far though since when I woke up this morning, mother wasn't there, but she left me breakfast. When I finished eating, I practiced moving my arms and legs so I can get used to them. I would crawl to one the stand on the edges of the room to hold me up to I would slowly walking to on side to the other. I can walk better though, I stood up and touched from one edge of the room to the other then I went back to my futon. I looked at the same ceiling as I did for days and closed my eyes so I can fall asleep again. I wasn't sleepy though and it was hard to me to go back to bed when I just woke up. So I'm just here, looking up the wooden small house.  
  
Nothing is different even when time passes. I am, but a lone adolescent always causing grief for my mother, if I were not to talk, no one would get hurt or even listen for that matter. That is why I have to accept the fact that I am meaningless and worthless to the point of deserving no existence. I softly go to sleep as I continue to relax, but something that I couldn't put my finger on was tickling my ear from it growing volume as it came closer. It was very faint still, so I couldn't put my finger on what it was. One was all sorts of noise some low and some high. Then there was one that was giggling. Giggling? That must mean that.children are here! Well, not to say I am not a child, but I must be far more superior and responsible. I stood up and inhaled before I went into the crucial, painful stage of getting up.  
I grabbed my crouches, which I barely use since, I'm too tired after practicing walking and rose up to hear more sounds of adolescent giggling and what not. I peered out of my room to see at first nothing, but the childish sounds. That is until when I was about to retreat in my room trying to tell myself that I've lost my mind. A paper ball bounces towards me and hits my heel. I stare at it for quite some time, yet knowing fully that it takes a long time (and a lot of pain) just to bend over.  
  
I looked at the corner of my eyes to see I little girl with short blue hair and brown eyes with a pink, well if it weren't dirty, brownish kimono with rips on the edges. I looked at her intently as she stares at me quivering her lip and swallowed. I then turned my attention to the paper ball and then to her. I knew what she wanted, but was it worth the pain? I say.no. I kicked the ball towards her instead making it easier for me and her. She wiped her face and snatched the ball with her dirty, smugly hands. She looked at me still as if she had something to say, yet she couldn't say a thing. "Well? What do you want? You got it right?" She was a little surprised of my cold comment as I still had a blank expression to my face. She nodded "Thank you, sir" and with that she left.  
  
I raised my eyebrow /did she just say.sir? Excuse me, but I'm the same age as her! Well, in demon years of course./ Even, with that said, I was still curious. How did she get here? Or find it at the least. There has to be more then one. I know it, I turn to where the little girl went I continued to hear voices. I raised my eyebrow and limped down the hallways and stopped to see near the corner the little girl with this one guy and another girl.  
  
The guy looked a little older then the little girl, but younger then me. They also, must have been related in some why since by facial feature and they had the same hair color, yet his eyes were blue too. He looked mad or upset about something I wasn't sure. I had more attention on the other person. She had red hair and looked around my age, maybe younger. She had green, hazel eyes, and light pale skin tone, like mine. I don't see why I paid any attention to her and was looking again at the little girl who was now crying. I was questioned by this and listen to their conversation. " Yuri! Why did you leave out of our sight? You could've been hurt or lost! Then, what were we suppose to do, Huh? Tell mom, that we went where we shouldn't and lost you just so you can drink in the other well?!" The boy was getting really red by now as the little girl, or should I say Yuri, was getting yelled at. " I'm sorry! I just dropped my ball and I was looking for it. Please don't tell mom!" She held back a sob and closed her eyes. The other girl then had her turn to speak up.  
  
" Cho! I think she had enough, Yuri is only 7, she can't help it! As long as she's ok and found her ball then there's nothing to be mad about. It's not like anyone lives here anyways!" she gave Yuri a little cloth to dry her eyes and stop crying. " Natsuko! Your always taking her side in everything. If you keep spoiling her like that she won't be able to take responsibility. She must learn that her actions causes good and bad things." I'm really getting bored of this fighting, I'm just going to go back and take a rest from this.  
  
I turned around and was heading towards my room, sure enough they would leave soon. "But.. I didn't go on my own! This man helped me and gave me my ball back!" Cho bend down to Yuri's height " A man helped you eh? You know your not suppose to talk to strangers!" /Darn it! I'm not a stranger! You guys are, walking around my house! Also, I am not a man! What's with people saying that and they're around my age!/ "B-b-but I wanted to find the ball so you wouldn't get mad at me and he was nice enough to give back to me."  
  
Cho glared at Yuri with undoubted eyes and grabbed her hand "I want to meet this stranger, but not today, we'll come again tomorrow. As for you, I won't tell mom, but you must promise not to do that! I'll go and get our stuff from the field, Natsuko take her to the village for me please, tell mother that I went to get our stuff." Natsuko smiled nodded, "Okay then" she took Yuri's hand "I'll see you at dinner." Yes! The humans are leaving my house! About time too! Cho nodded his head and ran off to the field. Natsuko waited till he was out of sight and turned to Yuri "Come on Yuri, let's go home." Yuri smiled as they walked out until I seen no sight of them. I smirked now that they were finally gone, now I can rest so I can get better. I must be since I stood so long even with the support of the wall. I limped to my futon since mother said that men to not crawl even in pain, they keep their heads high with pride. I finally made it and started to quickly fall asleep in slumber. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Natsuko's POV  
  
I followed the dark path of the forest where it leads to our little village and held my hand tightly to Yuri so she won't be lost and out of my sight. Most of the trip was quiet and not because I chose it to, but because I was deep in thought on who this mystery man was, if he was a man. Yuri has this thing of calling people sir and ma'am and their our age. She gets made fun of a lot because of that. I wonder if he's our age? I looked at Yuri and she looks deep in thought too. My curiosity could not wait no longer and I started to break the ice. "What are you thinking about Yuri?" Yuri looked up at me with her big blue ocean eyes and smiled " I can't stop thinking about the man, he looked sad when I was talking to him." I nodded my head "Yeah, about that what happen?" Yuri was silent for a while then told.  
  
"We were at the fields playing and the ball I brought rolled down the hill to the old house. I know Cho would get mad at me so I ran down to get it myself and I followed it and I heard footsteps, at first I thought it was you or Cho so I ran to see and it was the guy. I was scared since he didn't look like he was friendly, but I wanted my ball back and he gave it me. That's then I heard you guys and ran to you." I looked at her for a while and then concentrated on the sunset about to fall completely. "Did he hurt you or anything?" I asked without changing my focus on the road. "No he didn't, he just looked sad and lonely." I started to self a tinge of pity on the man, if he was. No one should feel sad or lonely.  
"Tell me Yuri, what did he look like? Was he around our age or was he really a man?" Yuri stopped and thought to a while, she closed her eyes and reopened them. "He was around our age. He looked young, had long white hair, and looked very beautiful like mother." She stopped for a while to think again. /Did she just say he looked beautiful?? I hope she means handsome. "He also had long nails and golden eyes, I can't remember anything else, but I remember him limping so I think he hurted." I pity rate began to grow and also my interest at the same time, maybe it's time to me to see who this guy really is.  
  
We finally reached the village, but I had changed my plans as of now. "Yuri, you know where we live right?" Yuri nodded "Good, then I'm going to.help big brother with carrying our stuff okay?" Yuri looked at me "But didn't big brother tell you to bring me home?" I thought and smiled " No, he said bring you to the village and I think your big enough to go by yourself right? Besides, we brung a lot of stuff and I need to help him okay? Don't talk to strangers Yuri! Remember!" I rushed back into the path as she started walking home by herself. I smiled wider to finally go back and see who this "man" is. I took a short-cut to make sure no one sees me and I can come home before Cho comes, luckily.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~* I'm so sorry this was short! I'll make a longer one I swear! It's just that I already had ideas for the next chapter. PLEASE REVIEW ^^ I'll love you forever! -Luminaglow 


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